Have you ever stepped into an answer to prayer, only to discover your new blessing was harder than you expected? You’re not alone. In fact, the Bible is full of people who stepped into God’s “yes,” but their story didn’t come without a mess. Yet, somehow we still seem to hold certain expectations about what it means to be blessed by God or receive His “yes.”
There is a short story tucked in 1 Chronicles about a man named Jabez who prayed and seemed to receive the answer to his prayer without any bumps in the road:
“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.”
— 1 Chronicles 4:10
Jabez experienced the happily-ever-after we anticipate. We all want the key to unlocking this seemingly mess-free blessing in our lives, but assuming that God’s blessings will always result in smooth sailing can lead to disillusionment if we aren’t careful.
Here are a few misconceptions about God’s blessings and answered prayers:
Misconception #1: ‘If God Blessed It, It Will Be Easy’
When Nehemiah (the cupbearer to the Persian king) heard that Jerusalem’s walls had been destroyed, the news broke his heart. He wept, fasted, and prayed desperately for days. And he specifically asked God for an opportunity to speak to the king about it:
“O Lord, please hear my prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you. Please grant me success today by making the king favorable to me. Put it into his heart to be kind to me.”
— Nehemiah 1:11 (NLT)
Nehemiah’s prayer was answered, and the king granted him a leave of absence so he could rebuild the walls. Nehemiah was confident that God would help his plan succeed, and he rallied the people to begin rebuilding. But his God-given mission wasn’t without opposition. Nehemiah and the workers were mocked and threatened. People said, “Do they actually think they can make something of stones from a rubbish heap?” (Nehemiah 4:2 NLT.).
The mocks and threats weren’t the only challenge; the workers were growing tired because there was so much rubble to move, and they were struggling to feed their families. They worked hard from sunrise to sunset, but eventually, the wall was rebuilt and Nehemiah led people in a time of spiritual renewal. But most of the book of Nehemiah is about the messy middle of trying to walk out God’s “yes” when it was harder than expected.
There’s a misconception that when we are in God’s will, we will always feel peaceful or be spared from hard work. But just because you have God’s yes (and His grace) doesn’t mean life will be easy or smooth, or free of resistance.
From the new mom struggling to adjust to sleepless nights to the one who accepted a new job and now feels overworked, living in God’s blessing doesn’t mean the journey won’t be bumpy.
Misconception #2: ‘If I’m Blessed, I Won’t Need God as Much’
We don’t say this one out loud, but we sure fall into this trap. It’s easy to assume that if we get the blessing we want, we will be satisfied and confident. But the truth is, only the Giver can satisfy our souls, not the gifts. Often, this kind of disillusionment can lead to ingratitude, like the Israelites who had been set free from slavery, only to complain about missing their old lives:
“And all the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The whole congregation said to them, “Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become a prey. Would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt?”
— Numbers 14:2-3 (ESV)
The truth is, we need God in the lows, the highs, and all the valleys in between. We never get to the place where we’ve received enough “blessings” in our lives to be free of our need for God. Yet, somehow it’s easier to remember God in the lows of life, and forget about Him after we get what we wanted. But all the earthly things we perceive as “blessings” will never be enough for the God-sized hole in our hearts.
Sometimes, it’s not the disillusionment of our circumstances that drives us to depend on God, but the inadequacy we feel as we step into them. In the book of Exodus, it seems like Moses would have felt honored and excited to be chosen as Israel’s leader to the promised land. Instead, he pointed out his shortcomings to God and felt like God picked the wrong person for the job.
“O my Lord, I am not eloquent … but I am slow of speech and of a slow tongue.”
— Exodus 4:10 (ESV)
Because Moses didn’t feel how a leader “should” feel (confident and capable) he doubted God’s calling. He assumed his stutter disqualified him from being the best person for the job. Moses had to learn how to carry his calling even when his feelings weren’t falling in line.
We usually expect seasons of crisis and tragedy to make us come to the end of ourselves, so it’s surprising to feel unqualified, inadequate, or disillusioned when we get what we prayed for. But stepping into a new season (even a season that is a blessing) can require an overwhelming adjustment period. The good news? It’s an opportunity to depend on God’s strength once again.
God spoke to the apostle Paul, saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).
Misconception #3: ‘I Will Feel Grateful and Happy All the Time When My Prayer Is Answered’
God promises a lot of beautiful things in Scripture. He promises that He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He promises that He will work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). He promises eternal life for those who believe in Him (John 3:16). But God does not promise that we will always have warm, fuzzy feelings when we follow Him and His plan.
Here’s the reality about living in our broken world: sometimes we are holding a gift in one hand and grief in the other. Sometimes, we are handed a blessing, but something hard or painful comes alongside it.
In 1 Kings 18, Elijah prayed for God to show his power at Mount Carmel, and fire came down from heaven.
“When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, ‘The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!'”
— 1 Kings 18:39 (NIV)
It was a victorious moment, and he probably thought it would result in a neat and tidy resolution to his prayer, like Jabez’s “God granted his request.” But instead, Elijah was thrown a curveball. He was sent a death threat that made him so fearful and discouraged that he actually asked God to take his life. He was sent a death threat that made him so fearful and discouraged that his next move was not celebrating; it was hiding. If you’ve ever wondered, Why now, God?, you are not alone.
Sometimes life is a messy mix of the beautiful and the broken, and we have to learn how to hold the tension of both. It’s okay to take time to express gratitude and joy for your new blessings, and find the space you need to grieve, process, or allow God to hold your heart through what’s hard. Proverbs 14:13 reminds us, “Even in laughter the heart may ache.”
A Few Simple Steps Forward
If you’ve found yourself struggling in a new season of answered prayers, here are a few steps to find your way forward:
1. Read and memorize verses about God’s unchanging nature.
When you feel overwhelmed by big changes in your life, remembering God’s unchanging nature is a powerful truth to anchor to:
- “I the Lord do not change.” (Malachi 3:6)
- “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)
- “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)
2. Grow in gratitude by flipping complaints into prayers of thanks.
When you’re overwhelmed in a new season, gratitude can be harder to access (like it was for the Israelites in the wilderness). Try flipping complaints into thanksgiving:
- Your child is in a mood. Thank you God, for this child I prayed for.
- The laundry is piling up. Thank you God for all the clothes I have.
- The gas prices are high. Thank you, God that I have a car to drive today.
3. Pray with the three R’s.
- Read: Read through a verse once out loud.
- Reflect: Repeat the verse out loud, much more slowly, pausing to reflect on each phrase.
- Respond: Turn the verse into a prayer.
- Example:
- Verse: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)
- Prayer: “God, thank you that you are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Although seasons change, you are constant.”
- Example:
Your prayer was answered. Now what?
The spouse you prayed for is here, but a sadness sets in that you can’t explain. The job you prayed for came through, but now you are overworked and overwhelmed. The baby you prayed for has arrived, but you haven’t slept since. You wonder, Isn’t an answer to prayer supposed to feel better than this?
But I Prayed for This: What to Do When Living in God’s Yes Is Harder Than You Expected, by Melissa Miller, provides a pathway to care for your soul, permission to be in process, and reassurance that God’s love is big enough for both your gratitude and your grief.
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